An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughn

It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets. - William Thomas

The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears. - W.H. Auden

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. - Leonard Bernstein

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. - Oscar Wilde

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions! - Joey Adams

Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that. - Judith Crist

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions. - Mark Twain

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other. - Anonymous